Sales Pitch

I was in a toy store looking for a small pair of boxing gloves for my ventriloquist figure. There were toy guns of all kinds, plastic swords, axes and knives. Finally I asked a sales clerk for children's boxing gloves. "oh,no," she said."We don't sell violent toys."

Upon entering a hardware store,I overhead another customer inquiring, "Are these electronic stud finders any good?" In response the handsome young salesman quipped, "you bet. Every time I walk by them, they go 'beep.'"

Phoney Express

Our brother-in-law sent my husband this e-mail message: "This is a test of the in-law communication system. If this had been a real emergency, your mother-in law would have already called."

Virtual Hilarity

I have the reputation for being a walking dictionary. One evening my husband was answering his e-mail when he asked, "How do you spell Acknowledge?"

"Honey"' I said with a sigh, "why don't you hit spell check?" He reached over and punched my arm lightly. " Okay," he said. "How do you spell acknowledge?"

As I waited at the post office for stamps, the woman ahead of me left a considerable amount of space between her and the customer in front of her. "Excause me," I said, tapping her on the shoulder."Are you on line?"Turning towards me, She replied with a laugh, "I wish I was on-line. Then I could e-mail these letters from home instead of waiting here for stamps."

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